So f-ing moody...

Let's clarify. Buying a house is difficult. I didn't think it was going to be a walk in the park, per se, but I had hoped that it would be a simple series of steps:

-Search for the house
-Find the house, make an offer
-Negotiations
-Find a way to pay for the mortgage

But no. I decided that the blue house would be the best overall option, considering the space and limited amount of work that needs done to it. My parents came up and looked, and they commented that some work did definitely need done, but it was primarily on the outside. The wiring seemed satisfactory, but they said that the breaker box is for a low amperage, which means that it wouldn't support an electric stove. (Concerns)

So I talked it over with my folks, and since they seemed okay with the idea of me getting the house, I told my agent I wanted to put in an offer. I understood that I merely needed to say "I want to offer $X, I want the seller to pay the closing costs, and I want to close on X day." Which is what I said.

Then today I get this barrage of emails and phone calls because they want me to put a specific number to the amount of closing costs I expect the seller to pay. At this point, I've only gotten estimates which aren't 100% reliable. I don't understand why I have to say $X. Why can't we just negotiate percent? That's the way my agent made it sound when we were talking earlier! I get a call from some mortgage lender specialist with my real estate agency (totally unsolicited), and he starts throwing out totally bullshit hypothetical situations that sound like they're bordering on scams - "Say you have closing costs of $5000, then you take out a loan for $5000 more than your offer and have the seller pay you back $5000." It sounds to me that this process would lead me to have a larger loan to pay back, higher interest rates, and a higher percentage of money to put down. As well as bordering on fraud.

So this bank is having a gimmick with "no closing costs". Cost of closing - $2,446. How that equals 0 closing costs is beyond me. But the interest rate is reasonable, the package seems nice, and the payments are barely more than I'm paying for this apartment. I resigned myself to choosing this one and giving my real estate agent that figure for closing costs. At this point, I'm thoroughly frustrated.

And then things get even more ridiculous. My agent just called me because I didn't want to sign the initial offer/contract because it's only an offer. Then he spent time explaining that it is a contract and it doesn't become executed until both parties sign, yah de yah, I've heard this a million times before. I'm asking "can I do this?" and I get "this is how it works", not "yes" or "no". I feel like I'm being treated like a child, and it's aggravating.

My god, I am frustrated at this process. I feel like before I breathed the words "I want to make an offer", everything was casual and easygoing. Then once I said those damned words, they pounced on me like a swarm of leeches. Nevermind that I am the one who is responsible for getting my act together, and it's my fault if I don't have an offer ready. I don't need to have the definition of "contract" explained seven times. I don't need hypothetical situations that don't apply. I don't want you to fucking call me unless I say "call me", especially if you're not my real estate agent. I want one set of questions that I need to answer, and then follow-up with clarifications, if necessary. I do NOT want to play a damn game of internet email tag.

Thank heavens I won't ever be doing this again by myself. I don't think I ever want to do it again, period. Can I quit now?